Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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