Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize