you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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