There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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