i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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