dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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