I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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