what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize