I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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