Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize