you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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