But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize