wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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