so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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