So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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