WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize