i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
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he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
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Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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