No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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