I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize