So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize