and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize