i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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