Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize