Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize