Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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