she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
as a side note pls kill me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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