I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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