I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize