Your tits are I can't wait for
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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