i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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