remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize