im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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