I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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