Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize