He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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