Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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