So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize