okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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