Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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