haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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