You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize