remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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