I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
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He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
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Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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