You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I party with great urgency now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize