this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize