So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize