Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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