the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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