Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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