Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
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On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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